Infinite Tsukuyomi
by PanopticBibelot
Summary: It's a weird thing to watch yourself live the life you didn't even know you wanted. The Infinite Tsukuyomi dreams of your favorite pairing.


**Hi so I'm the author of...**  
 **The Ramen to My Noodles**  
 **Times Moments Smirks and Kisses**  
 **Procratinations**  
 **Some Dork Diary, Hunter X Hunter, Gossip Girl, and more Naruto shit**

 **Anyways I regret deleting all my stories, all my favorite/followed stories, and favorite/followed authors and completely disappearing off the face of the earth. I went through a very self-conscious phase junior year and ended up deleting everything. I was pretty sure someone from school found my fanfic account because they said an exact line I had written verbatim to me and i was so SHOOK and embarrassed that i deleted everything. I sort of abandoned every "nerdy" or "weird" aspect about myself. I stopped watching anime as well.**

 **And to be honest I had sort of forgotten about this account. I wasnt updating and when I did, my new chapters were trash lmao. And I had stopped writing, I still liked it but I had zero creativity and everything felt so overdone and bad so I stopped. I still read a lot of fanfiction though hahaha.**

 **But I finally went back and finished Naruto and I began reading ShikaTema fics again and I suddenly had the urge to write one. So here it is. How many of you remember me? And didja miss me ;)**

 **(forgive me if this is trash (or honestly roast me to hell and back) I literally haven't written a creative piece since my last fanfics lmao)**

* * *

As the night sky turned to daylight and the moon became an eye, all Temari could think was that it was way too bright, but at least, when she died, she'd have a healthy glow.

Her mind went blank for a second. Trapped in her psyche, she could only believe that she had fallen asleep. When she awoke, she was in Suna and Konoha _at the same time_ and the happy ending she couldn't allow herself as a kunoichi to wish for played out before her.

The Land of Wind and the Land of Fire had merged it seemed, while still maintaining their respective governments and leaders. The part of her mind that wasn't under complete control knew this was ridiculous and she almost questioned it. Almost stopped to voice her confusion at this new reality.

(Outside of her tsukuyomi, the God Tree's roots tightened around her body, trapping her in a darkness that she would never see.)

All her concerns vanished. She still felt...a certain way but she couldn't place her finger on the feeling. And still, she couldn't bring her self to vocally question the situation she had suddenly found herself in.

Not even when Shikamaru appeared, smiling at her adoringly. Not even when she found herself holding a small boy with Shikamru's dark hair and her teal eyes in her arms. Everything was going in slow motion. Temari's mind felt muddied and weighed down and Shikamaru was speaking to her but she couldn't hear him.

Not until he wrapped his arms around her and ghosted his lips across hers.

"The merger went well. We are both now citizens of the Land of Wind and Fire. No more running back and forth. No more scheduled visits for our child and any of our future children. No more shaky alliances. This is it. Where we belong."

Temari felt herself beaming and any lingering questions she had left the forefront of her mind, dissolving into afterthoughts before completely disappearing. She cupped Shikamaru's chin and pulled his face close to hers. Over his lips she smiled, "Wherever you are is where I belong."

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•

She worried a lot about her family. Shikamaru and her worked hard to provide for their children. He came home late from work sometimes. She made sure to put food on the table every night. They tried their best to stay alive during missions. Her son grew up strong and smart. She and Shikamaru grew old together. They died in each other's arms during sleep and were buried alongside each other, at the now useless border between Suna and Konoha: Temari on Suna's side and Shiakamru on Konoha's side.

The End.

And then it repeated. Only this time she saw her childhood. Her mother was alive. Her dad was nice and loving to all of them. Gaara wasn't scary. Gaara wasn't alone. They all had lots of friends. Orochimaru was only a tall tale told to make kids behave. Sunagakure and Konohagakure had a strong and lasting alliance. She went to Konoha once to take her Chuunin exam. There she met and beat Shikamaru and they fell in love and it ended the same. They had a couple kids. Worked hard. Grew old. Died together.

And it repeated. And she was happy.

It's a weird thing, Temari mused from somewhere deep in the back of her mind, to watch yourself live the life you didn't even know you wanted.

* * *

Shikamaru slept.

He slept all day and all night and woke up and watched the clouds and slept some more and no one bothered him. It was beautiful and that was how he grew up, sleeping and cloud watching and life couldn't have been more peaceful. All his friends were training to become ninja, and he was, too, but with the least effort and the most results. It was nice to be a prodigy.

All his simple work paid off. At the tender age of nineteen, Shikamaru had become the advisor to Naruto, the Hokage. He began working as hard as _he_ could manage everyday, putting his mind to good use for his country and comrades. Everyday, he wrote up basic plans for various missions, organized the standing military, formulated basic war tactics, tweaked the current education system, smoothed details within past and current treaties, and basically ran the entirety of Konoha with just his frontal lobe.

All without losing any sleep or down time. He had learned to maximize himself. After all, efficiency was all about low input and high output.

And everyday he went home to his wife Temari. She was pregnant with his second child. The Shikamaru of this reality could almost cry because somehow, this didn't seem realistic. And yet it was so beautiful he couldn't help but stare, trying to hold onto this image of Temari: barefoot in his home, hair down, stomach exposed, cooing to her belly. Somewhere in his heart, he knew that this couldn't be real and that this couldn't happen _for_ him – an actual life, with an actual woman that wasn't plain in any sense of the word.

(No, the him outside of the tsukuyomi would never even try to take that on.)

"Why are you crying?" Temari laughed. "Don't tell me you don't want a boy anymore? Wasn't that part of your master plan?"

He finally saw the small brown-eyed girl drawing by the table. She was a spitting image of Temari and his heart hurt at the site of his family and he could not place this feeling of restlessness.

"I just – " He didn't know what to say. He wasn't expecting himself to speak. He was just supposed to be a spectator, watching his life like an endless movie reel.

Temari closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her belly. "Are you scared again, Crybaby? We've done this before, you know." She jerked her head to the child in the living room, entertaining herself with crayons and the wooden table. "Do you need reassurance?"

Shikamaru didn't say anything, couldn't feel anything. From Temari's smile, he could only assume that he was still crying. She reached up and wiped away his tears. "You are my husband and I love you and you are strong and wise. I belong to you and you to me. We've always got each other's backs on everything. Including this, okay? Your place is here."

Shikamaru smiled. She was right. "My place is here. I know, I know." And he truly, wholly believed it.

" _I_ was the one reassuring _you_. One's enough, idiot."

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•

Temari gave birth to a beautiful, healthy boy.

His children were smart. They mastered his clan's jutstu well before the age he had. They could wield fans twice their size and summon ninken well before they could write with sensible syntax. He and Temari worked very hard before retiring early. They spent the rest of their days playing shogi. He died before her from old age. It was peaceful and the last thing he saw was her wrinkled, smiling face framed by the clouds.

Then he was a child again: only slightly impassive, still always sleeping. He grew older. Ino was quiet like Hinata. Choji was confident. At the Chunin exam, Shikamaru didn't get promoted but he did fall in love. Eventually, when he had finally wanted to, he was promoted with Temari and their lives would sync together as easily as he knew it would. Asuma-sensi was still alive and he and Kurenai-sensei were happy. Shikamaru had his daughter. Then he had his son. Then his early retirement. Then he died.

All was well. This was his life and it was very ideal.

* * *

When the God Tree's binds loosened, their realities began to crumble. It was like a glitch. Parts would blur, faces would fade, and the loop was broken. Temari and Shikamaru were stuck in death and then eventually it became darkness and loneliness and his mind wasn't his and hers wasn't hers.

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•

When the rinnegan faded from Temari's eyes, she was crying. Tears had fallen down the sides of her face into her ears and her hair. She didn't know why. She sat up, shoving aside the now dead roots and wiping at her eyes.

The Infinite Tsukuyomi.

She knew that she must have fallen under it. She knew that for it to be over, they must have won the war. The clearing filled with whoops and cheers and cries. Those that were still alive held each other and mourned those who weren't.

Temari looked around but she didn't know what she was looking for. And then she saw him and it all came rushing back. Her genjutsu induced dream. And from the look on his face, he remembered what he had saw while he was under. If she hadn't just survived a war where more than _half_ their manpower had perished, Temari would've blushed. Instead, she was _almost_ moved to tears and hid her emotions behind a knowing but kind smirk.

(She would cry later though. Months after the war, months into rebuilding, when she was alone in her room thinking of her father and all he said to Gaara. Thinking of the war and of the future she saw that she was finally allowing herself to want. She would cry that she could've lost it without knowing that he wanted it too.)

They made their way to each other, saying with their eyes and their body language what they couldn't say out loud, lest they'd be overcome with nostalgia for something that hadn't happened.

(Nostalgia so strong that Temari wouldn't be able to breathe and Shikamaru would have been a sobbing mess.)

 _I dreamt of you_ , they said silently to each other.

Shikamaru did actually start crying then. Well first, he laughed at the absurdity of the situation. Here he was, the Allied Shinobi Force's acting tactician, standing in the middle of a warzone, around _dead bodies,_ yet he suddenly found time to affirm the love life he had been avoiding. The love life that could've perished with both of them before it was given a chance to even start. The love life that neither would've known the other had wanted. And that's when he began to cry. The image of Temari, pregnant with his children burned in his head once he remembered it. He vowed that sometime in the future, that image would be an actual reality and he would love Temari with all his heart if he didn't already. He remembered what his dad had said about troublesome women and he wished his dad could see him now, heart hurting for a troublesome woman so he could give him a smile, a pat on the back, and some fatherly advice goddamn it. The tears fell harder.

Temari stood across from him grinning. If this had been another war, a simpler war, she would've chastised him for crying. They're shinobi for goddsake. Fighting amongst one another made sense. But Madara had sought to destroy all of them. No one would have gotten out alive. If she couldn't realize her dream, she'd at least want Shikamaru to. Or anyone else for that matter. Shinobi fought to protect each other. With Madara, there was no one to protect and no one to survive. And then neither her nor Shikamaru would've had a future or solace. They could've easily lost something precious _and_ their villages. It was enough to make her chest hurt. And although, any public displays of affection to anyone – even her brothers – was against everything she believed in, she pulled Shikamaru into a tight embrace.

She bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She could feel Shikamaru sobbing in her arms. When she pulled away he quickly wiped at his eyes and Temari smiled softly, feeling awkward. She moved to go find her brothers before one of them embarrassed themselves by trying to _talk._ _Yikes._

"Hey, Troublesome woman," Shikamaru said. Temari braced herself, preparing to cringe. She doesn't give out affection because she's not used to it being returned.

"Yeah." She said cautiously.

"After this is all over...when everything is cleaned up and...stable..." Shikamaru looked around sheepishly before returning his eyes to Temari, quickly realizing that looking at all the casualties was not what he wanted to do. "Um...wanna get a bite to eat." Shikamaru looked at his feet sheepishly.

"Like a date." Temari bit her lip to stop herself from smiling too hard.

"Like a date." He confirmed. Finding it in him to blush despite all that had happened. Temari smiled a little harder. _Baby._

She considered giving him a hard time but her body and her mind were exhausted. She could tell he was in the same condition.

"Well you know where to find me." She gave him a smirk before running off to find her siblings. Shikamaru found his teammates.

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•

The war was now over. Ceremonies were held in each of the villages commemorating and mourning both the dead and the alive. Rebuilding was underway and the alliances between all the Shinobi villages were stronger than ever. Eventually a new generation that only knew of peace and trust and diplomacy grew and the fears of the older generations were replaced by optimism.

Whenever his children finally slept and Shikamaru and Temari were alone together, all they could think was that the future was brighter than anything the Tsukuyomi could project.

* * *

 **let me know what you think. I havent written in a looooooooong while so i wanna know if im better or worse or the same. Of course, you dont really have any pieces to compare this work to...because I deleted it all...because I'm dumb. ANYWAYS, ya, let me know what you think.**


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